Long-Suffering Love: A Prescription for Loving Yourself | 004

In this episode, Leneé Pezzano delves into the deeper meaning of patience, also known as long-suffering, and its transformative power in loving oneself. She explores the biblical roots of patience, the challenges of perfectionism, and provides practical advice on how to extend grace and compassion to yourself, especially when you fall short of your own expectations. Tune in for a soulful discussion on the true nature of God's love and how to break free from the chains of self-condemnation.

Introduction
You know how you hear a word over and over and you think you know what it means...

Redefining Patience
the Bible talks about patience, it's not just about waiting...

The Link Between Perfectionism and Self-Worth
There's a very important connection between perfectionism...

Today's Prescription
Here's today's prescription for you. Take as needed for perfectionism...

Closing Remarks
God's grace is always within reach. I promise you sis...

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Transcript

I help Christian women break up with perfectionism and discover the life-changing power of God’s grace.

Let’s face it: you’re exhausted from constantly striving to meet impossible standards, believing it’s the only way to earn God’s love and acceptance. You hear scriptures like “Be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect” (Matt. 5:48) and wonder if you’ll ever measure up.

But what if God’s heart for you is different than you think?

Long-Suffering Love: A Prescription for Loving Yourself | 004

Leneé Pezzano: [00:00:00] You know when something just feels a little bit off, it's like you know where you're supposed to be and you know you're doing what you're called to do and you're following the formulas, creating the content, and yet something. in your jiver just ain't jiving and in your knower, just ain't knowing?  That has been me these last few weeks and honestly that screams misalignment.

I did not get into podcasting to become the best marketer or win a prize for having the best scripted episodes, I felt compelled to help you as a listener, understand God's heart and understand that there is a way to overcome perfectionism and that you don't have to do it alone. I came to breed relationship and to foster connection with you. as I share my own 

[00:01:00] struggles and my victories through my own walk with the Lord.

That's what I wanna create here.

The next few episodes were recorded before I had this little epiphany. So that said, you might feel like they are way more scripted and they are and less like we're just chatting over a cup of coffee. I decided that I was going to keep them as is. I really think it'll be fun to look back and enjoy this imperfect journey as the Spirit of God.

It basically weaves his revelation in and out of our souls. So, if you're hearing this message, just know that this episode you're about to hear it still comes from the heart and from my own experience. 

Starting something new is messy. Every work of art is, and the perfectionist that we are will avoid doing the thing until it's well perfect. But 

[00:02:00] sometimes you have to obey first, and then the understanding follows. Sometimes God says, go and trust me that making mistakes will happen and you're gonna be okay because I'm with you.

This journey is not for the faint of heart, but it is worth every price paid to get to today, 

So, thank you for caring, for being gracious, for being patient, for hearing my heart, and most of all, I thank you for pursuing the Lord and for believing that there is something better for you than where you have been to this point. 

[Transition to full episode]

You know how you hear a word over and over and you think you know what it means, but then somebody shares the definition and you realize the meaning is a lot more powerful than what you thought. Some call this meaning drift or definition decay.

It's a cognitive bias where words [00:03:00] lose their depth to overuse or when familiarity creates the illusion of understanding. Let's put this concept to the test. If you're up for it, pause the episode and think about the word patient. Without looking it up, what definition comes to mind?

Okay, be real. Were you patient enough to try the exercise? How'd you do? You may have come up with a definition something like is willing to wait a long time for something, or shows tolerance when someone isn't meeting your expectations. As a perfectionist, I'm guessing the very word patient might have evoked a familiar, not so good feeling or two. After all, perfectionists tend to fixate on the destination rather than embracing [00:04:00] the journey, don't we?

 Did you know that when the Bible talks about patience, it's not just about waiting. it actually means long suffering in the original Greek. Yes, patience comes with some serious weight, W E I G H T.

In today's episode of the Redeemed Perfectionist, we will unpack what long suffering really means and how it can transform the way you love yourself and others. I don't have to look very far into my past to see a girl who needed what I will prescribe to you today. Even now, the Redeemed Perfectionist podcast is like medicine to my soul, and it serves as a reminder of how I must continue to maintain the freedom.

Hey Sis, I'm Lenee’ Pezzano, your fellow patient of perfectionism turned 

[00:05:00] soul pharmacist, pun intended by the way. I've taken enough grace capsules through the years to recover from perfectionism that I now want to share the prescription with you. It's a wild and messy adventure to break up with perfectionism, and I don't have all the answers.

But I know the path to grace is worth the journey.  I believe you deserve to experience the freedom that I have found. Even more, I really want you to know God's heart for you and that He actually wants to be near you, to be your confidant, to pour His love medicine onto your broken areas.

So that you're free from the chains of striving and can live the abundant life he created for you. One that's filled with joy, rest and confidence in who he says you are. I am on a mission to help you smile 

[00:06:00] again. Before I share with you today's medicine to help you suffer long with yourself, be sure you hit the subscribe button to the Redeemed Perfectionist Podcast.

You're going to want to hear all about how. God defines grace in future episodes. It might just be different than what you thought. 

First Corinthians 13:4 says love is patient. Remember patient means long suffering. It means to stay in it and tolerate over and over again when others are weak and haven't caught up to where you are, 

Or when they just don't meet your expectations. In simple terms, it means slow to punish.

You've likely heard the golden rule spoken of in Matthew 22 39, love your neighbor as yourself. I don't know about you, but when I used to hear that 

[00:07:00] scripture, I would immediately think about how I am to treat others. But have you ever stopped to consider the as yourself part of the equation? If God's word says that love suffers long, that is slow to punish, then wouldn't that mean God himself is slow to punish?

 I'm guessing you would agree with that when it applies to others. How does the story change when you apply God's word to your own life?

You might believe deep down that you deserve to be punished Every time you sin. Cue the choir of perfectionists singing the familiar tune, I tend to be pretty hard on myself. Trust me. I get it. Five years ago, I would have laughed at the idea that my hypothetical tombstone might someday read, remembered for her ability to 

[00:08:00] love herself.

Oh, here's the thing. There's a very important connection between perfectionism. and your tendency to be hard on yourself. Remember that first hack we talked about in episode 3? Name the fruit and find the root? If impatience with yourself is the fruit, what might be the root? I believe it all boils down to this fundamental belief that whispers, I do not deserve.

The core root of perfectionism is often a deep desire for worth and acceptance, yet a shame filled belief that you are not worthy of love. Perfectionists often carry an underlying fear that making mistakes will diminish their worth, invite judgment, and break relationships with others and with God.

[00:09:00] Ultimately, it becomes an exhaustive process of striving for approval rather than resting in the identity already provided by Jesus. If it was true that your value and his acceptance of you were based on your abilities, then you would have to declare scripture a lie. Imagine this, what if Galatians 2:16 actually said that a man is justified by the works of the law and not by faith in Jesus Christ.

And that by the works of the law shall all flesh be justified. Hoo, that my sister! That is another gospel. Can you even imagine the crushing weight of that reality? How many good deeds would be enough? What happens when you inevitably fail? Praise God, that is not what scripture 

[00:10:00] says. Here's today's prescription for you. Take as needed for perfectionism induced self-condemnation. The next time you don't meet your expectations, instead of beating yourself up, what if you could choose compassion?

Maybe pause, take a deep breath and say to yourself, Hey sis, remember God's love is not based on your performance. Ease up on yourself. It's okay. You don't have to be perfect. You'll get it next time. Just keep doing the best you can.

When you make a mistake at work, what if you could stop replaying it in your mind like a broken record and instead say, It's okay. God still loves me and I can learn from this. That is grace in action. How about when you snap at someone you love instead of spiraling 

[00:11:00] into guilt?  What if you forgave yourself and make amends without shame? There's no condemnation in Christ. And when that inner critic of yours shows up uninvited, maybe slow down and replace those harsh thoughts with gentle, kind words, truthful ones rooted in God's love. This prescription may not come with a childproof cap, but it does come with a promise.

God's grace is always within reach. I promise you sis, if you keep taking this medicine, you will need a whole new prescription. One to tame that smile on your face just enough so you can still eat and drink. But before that smile gets too wide to handle, quickly slide on over to my website for some over perfectionism even more.

[00:12:00] Join our Redeemed Perfectionist Facebook group for some real, raw connection. And whatever you do, remember to tune in for next week's episode on God's definition of grace. It'll be like taking your medicine. We want to make sure you get better.

See you next time, sister. 

To do it.