Be Perfect? Understanding What Jesus Actually Meant | 009

Ever read "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect" (Matthew 5:48) and felt gut-punched by pressure and shame? You're not alone, friend.

In this episode, we peel back the layers of what perfection really means in God’s eyes—and spoiler alert—it’s not about flawlessness, performance, or checking all the spiritual boxes. It’s about fullness, maturity, and a heart rooted in love.

Join Leneé as she exposes the counterfeit perfectionism so many Christian women have unknowingly worshipped, and offers a grace-filled invitation to step into the kind of "perfect" God actually desires.

You'll learn:

• The surprising truth behind Matthew 5:48
• How to silence the inner critic and stop performing for approval
• Why your desire to please God isn’t failing—it’s being formed
• 5 powerful ways to shift your perspective from striving to surrender

It’s time to ditch the world’s definition of perfection and embrace the one that brings rest, freedom, and deep intimacy with Jesus.

🎧 Plus, don’t forget to take the Grace Scale Assessment linked in the show notes—it’s an eye-opener (in the best way).

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💰Show support: The Redeemed Perfectionist | Where Grace Meets Grit: Healing the Perfectionist Heart | Patreon

Transcript

Be Perfect? Understanding What Jesus Actually Meant| 009

Leneé Pezzano: [00:00:00] If you are just joining the Redeem Perfectionist podcast community and you chose to start with this episode, then I urge you to listen to this intro. It's got some special information that's going to really help you understand the journey we're on.

However, if you've been with me this whole time, you can skip this next part. You've already heard it, and just fast forward to around three minutes, seven seconds or so. 

 Leneé Pezzano: You know when something just feels a little bit off? It's like you know where you're supposed to be and you know you're doing what you're called to do and you're following the formulas, creating the content, and yet something. in your Jiver just ain't jiving and in your knower, just ain't knowing? That has been me these last few weeks and honestly that screams misalignment.

[00:01:00] I did not get into podcasting to become the best marketer or win a prize for having the best scripted episodes. I felt compelled to help you as a listener, understand God's heart and understand that there is a way to overcome perfectionism and that you don't have to do it alone. I came to breed relationship and to foster connection with you. as I share my own struggles and my victories through my own walk with the Lord.

That's what I wanna create here.

The next few episodes were recorded before I had this little epiphany. So that said, you might feel like they are way more scripted and they are and less like we're just chatting over a cup of coffee. I decided that I was going to keep them as is. I really think it'll be fun to look back and enjoy this imperfect journey as the spirit of God.

 [00:02:00] It basically weaves His revelation in and out of our souls. So if you're hearing this message, just know that this episode you're about to hear it still comes from the heart and from my own experience. 

Starting something new is messy. Every work of art is, and the perfectionist that we are will avoid doing the thing until it's well perfect. But sometimes you have to obey first, and then the understanding follows. Sometimes God says, go and trust me that making mistakes will happen and you're gonna be okay because I'm with you.

This journey is not for the faint of heart, but it is worth every price paid to get to today, 

 So thank you for caring, for being gracious, for being patient. For hearing my heart, and most of all,I thank you for pursuing the Lord and for believing 

[00:03:00] that there is something better for you than where you have been to this point. If you have spent any amount of time with me, you know how much I love to dissect the definition of a word to extract its true meaning. So as to avoid definition decay, why break the trend? Now, we've been talking for weeks about loving yourself and God's grace. You're starting to be more aware of what perfectionism is and how it's been affecting you.

You might even be loosening your grip on the need to be so harsh on yourself, maybe even giving yourself permission to rest. But then boom, Matthew 5:48 shows up and sucker punches you. Be ye therefore perfect, even as your father in heaven is perfect. Well, if that isn't a holy plot twist, 

[00:04:00] I bet if you and I sat down together at your favorite local coffee shop, it wouldn't be long before I would discover how much you desire to please our heavenly Father.

After all, isn't that what we perfectionists long for? His acceptance and exchange for our near perfect adherence to his laws. I might also hear about the heaviness you carry, feeling like you're never doing enough, or the bone deep exhaustion from trying to keep up with an endless to-do list, maybe even procrastination, not because you're lazy, but because the pressure feels paralyzing or that sneaky fear of not measuring up no matter how hard you try.

What if I told you that God defines perfection differently than the world does, my friend? That is exactly what we will 

[00:05:00] dig into. On today's episode of the Redeemed Perfectionist, you're gonna discover just how on track you really are, that beautiful heart of yours, longing to do right by God is not failing, it's being formed.

You'll be reinvigorated to keep investing in your relationship with Him,and I bet you'll get really excited when you realize you actually have full permission to stop doing most of what's on your to-do list and still be deeply loved by God. When you realize that you've been duped by a counterfeit task master wearing a Jesus costume, that same God-loving heart in you will be fueled by your new revelation.

And before long, your inner critic will hit number one in country songs with her new hit, obituary of a task master. Hey sis, I'm Lenee Pezzano, author, speaker. 

[00:06:00] And fellow perfectionist who was once married to a counterfeit Jesus, spiritually speaking of course, I spent much of my walk with Jesus, running myself ragged, trying to earn God's favor, one rule at a time.

But now I'm on a mission to expose the lies of the one who only pretended to love me and introduce you to the real redeemer. So if you have been chasing approval. Checking all the boxes and still feeling like it's never enough. You're not alone. You're in the right place. Before we dive in,,I've got a little gift for you, something to help you see just how much perfectionism might be quietly running the show in your life.

Don't worry. There's no grade, no red pen, and definitely no shame. But if you're curious how much perfectionism is still hanging around, 

[00:07:00] take the grace scale linked in the show notes. It's eye-opening in the best way. 

Have you ever looked at another Christian woman and wondered how does she have it all together? let me pull back the curtain and give you a glimpse of what a day in the life of Lenee’ used to look like when I was chasing perfection by the world's standards and everyone thought I had it all together. Early morning.

I'd wake up and immediately engage with my mind, which was already racing. My brain rapidly calculated everything from my overwhelming to-do list to the conversations I needed to prepare for because I had to be polished and articulate to the internal grades given by my inner critic on every thought I had 

[00:08:00] and every move I made.

And this was all before my feet even hit the floor. Next came the usual morning, necessities, restroom, brushing teeth. But even those moments weren't safe. The inner critic turned up the volume replaying old songs about not being skinny enough, pretty enough or good enough. By now, I was running on adrenaline and cortisol.

 Just enough fuel to get me to go to the gym. High intensity workouts were my way of trying to fix my body, striving to tone and shrink it into something more acceptable. I thought that maybe just maybe tomorrow I'd wake up feeling closer to that elusive, perfect image after rushing home to shower.

The inner critic returned to inspect every perceived flaw. My legs are too fat. I've gotta shrink this belly. 

[00:09:00] My arms are still too big. I have to do more, eat less, try harder. Then came the dreaded moment, choosing what to wear. Ugh. It felt like walking the plank under the weight of shame. Some days I try on three different outfits before settling on one that felt tolerable.

Loose fitting clothes were my armor, unless I'd recently lost weight and felt I could momentarily step into the cute and confident category. But even then, my mind swirled with questions like, what will people think of me today? Are you tracking with me? And friend, this was all before 8:30 AM! Internally, I was functioning like a complex factory, kind of like Willy Wonka's candy making system, but without anything sweet being produced.

[00:10:00] Just anxiety, pressure, striving, and shame. I wasn't running on God's grace. I was powered by a broken generator of perfectionism, fueled by fear, comparison, and an impossible standard that never delivered peace. Here's the thing, I didn't realize it at the time. But I was chasing a version of perfection that the enemy had defined for me, a version built on appearance and performance and approval.

And no matter how hard I tried, it was never enough. yet I kept trying, like there was no stop button. No matter how exhausted I felt or how loud the inner critic became, I kept pushing, believing that maybe if I just got it right this time, I'd finally feel whole and accepted and 

[00:11:00] worthy. I never even gave it a second thought that maybe I was missing the mark.

Maybe this isn't what God meant by being perfect. The truth is. God's definition of perfection looks completely different. It is not about flawlessness or performance. It's not about striving harder or checking all the boxes. It's about something deeper, something fuller, something rooted in grace. Today, I want to unpack that with you because one definition leads to burnout and bondage. The other leads to freedom and rest. Here's where things get interesting. As I stated earlier, Matthew 5 is where Jesus ends his famous sermon on the Mount, teaching with a command that seems to echo everything perfectionism has whispered to us.

[00:12:00] Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. At first glance, that sounds like the very pressure I'd already been putting on myself, right? Be perfect, be flawless, be everything all the time with no mistakes. But that is not actually what Jesus was saying. When you dig deeper into the original language and the context of that chapter, we see something beautiful.

The word perfect here isn't about flawlessness. It's about fullness, maturity, and wholeness. It's about a heart that is fully devoted, a life that is being shaped by love, not by law. Jesus had just spent the entire chapter raising the standard. Not to burden us, but to lift our perspective. He wasn't just listing a bunch of external rules to follow.

[00:13:00] He was calling his followers into a deeper, higher way of living, one that flows from the inside out. He was saying, don't just follow the rules. Let your heart be transformed. Don't just avoid murder. Deal with anger. Don't just avoid adultery. Walk in purity of heart. Don't just love those who love you. Love your enemies. 

This wasn't about ticking off check boxes on a religious to-do list. It was about becoming people who walk in wholehearted devotion to the Father, people who reflect the heart and the character of God in every area of life. That's the kind of perfection God calls us to. Not perfectionism rooted in

[00:14:00] performance, but perfection, rooted in love, maturity, and grace.

Here's the truth. That absolutely changed everything for me. God does not measure me or you by how many times we got it right. He's not counting how flawlessly we performed. He's not keeping a tally of how many boxes we checked, how perfectly we executed a plan, or how few mistakes we made. No. God measures us by something much deeper.

He looks at our hearts. He measures our faith, our willingness to surrender, our effort to obey even when we fall short. He values our humble posture, our repentance spirit, and our growing dependence on him. Where the world says, 

[00:15:00] prove yourself, God says, abide in me. Where perfectionism says, try harder, God says, come closer.

Where the inner critic demands flawlessness, God responds with a Father's heart that says, I'm forming Christ in you. And that's the goal. So when Jesus said, be perfect, he wasn't saying never mess up. He was saying, grow into the fullness of who I created you to be wholehearted, mature, fully surrendered, and rooted in love.

Like Martha, maybe you've been busy making sandwiches that Jesus never ordered. Maybe you've been running on empty, trying to meet a standard that keeps moving, measuring yourself by the wrong metrics, listening to the voice of 

[00:16:00] the inner critic more than the voice of your heavenly Father. The good news now you recognize your own striving towards a version of perfection that God never asked of you, and you don't have to stay there.

You can begin to shift your perspective today, and I want to leave you with a few simple ways to start making that shift. Number one, ask God to redefine perfection for you. Take a few quiet moments this week and say, Lord, show me what your version of perfection looks like in my life. Help me trade striving for surrender. Two, take inventory of the voices you're listening to. Is it your inner critic, the culture, or the voice of God? Begin noticing when perfectionism starts speaking, and gently invite God's truth to speak louder. 

[00:17:00] Three, meditate on Matthew 5 this week.

Read it slowly. Not with a performance mindset, but with curiosity. Ask, what is Jesus really calling me toward here? What does it look like to pursue wholeness, not flawlessness? Four, start celebrating progress over perfection. At the end of each day, write down one way you partnered with God today, even if it was small.

Let that be your new measurement of growth. Remember we talked about it. Celebrate those small wins. And five, invite accountability or community. Don't walk this journey alone. Maybe this episode sparked something in you. Share it with a friend journal about it. Or join a space where you can process these shifts with other women breaking free from perfectionism too.

[00:18:00] You see sis, God's not after perfectionism. He's after progress in partnership with him. He's not impressed by polished appearances. He's drawn to surrendered hearts. He delights in your wholehearted pursuit of him. And that friend is freedom. The kind we have been craving all along but couldn't find in our striving.

It was never about arriving at some worldly standard. It was always about becoming more like Jesus from the inside out. 

I hope you enjoy today's episode and that it stirred something fresh in your heart I have good news. There's more where that came from. In the show notes, you'll find a direct link to my website, leneepezzano.com.

[00:19:00] That's L-E-N-E-E-P-E-Z-Z-A-N-O.com, where you can dive deeper into more resources designed to help you break up with perfectionism and embrace God's grace in every area of your life. You can even get a free copy of my book: You Will Make Mistakes: Discovering God's Grace in the Midst of Perfectionism. Who doesn't like free?

Maybe you've had a natural desire to connect with me to share your thoughts or questions or even a prayer request. Click that little phone down there in my podcast description and make your wish a reality. It would be fun and encouraging to connect with you. Lastly, what one or two people come to mind right now who might need you to be their gift today because you shared this message with them?

Don't wait. Take a moment and send this to them, now!  You never know how 

[00:20:00] much they might need it.

Let's build God's kingdom together, shall we? Until next time. Remember, God's not measuring your performance. He's after your heart. Keep showing up, keep growing and keep walking in grace. Oh, I almost forgot. Be sure to tune in next week where we're gonna talk about envy, and how learning to love ourselves well means letting go of comparison. See you next time, sis.